“Hey Floyd: Who Took The Money?”

by John Walker

The thing about a Floyd Mayweather fight is that you wake up from it feeling like your pocket has been picked.

And if you paid to watch it, it most certainly was.

Yes, Floydie boy has great “skillz” alright, and the greatest of them is doing very little in the ring while making a truckload of money and laughing at the fools who buy his act.

I mean, I tried to watch the Canelo fight and can barely remember it already, because so little happened, aside from “Money” making tons more of it.

You’ve really got to give “Money” credit — here’s a guy who acts like an utter superficial dickhead over and over again on these “24/7” type reality shows where he flaunts his wealth and can somehow convince millions to watch his (ahem) “fights.” I guess this is what American society has come to: the worship of wealth, ostentatious wealth at that.

Yes, Floyd’s sure got some kind of mega negative charisma going for him and his bank account just keeps swelling along with his ego.

What is really hilarious is how much of the North America boxing media–you know, the guys who keep calling the current world heavyweight champions “boring”– are on their knees giving rhetorical blow jobs to the greatness of Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Goes to show the power of the American bullshit hype machine in full flight.

How such writers here can call the Klitschko Brothers “boring” and then praise a totally boring fuck like Mayweather amazes me.

Yeah, Floydie has “skillz.” He’s much better at taking people’s money than Wlad and Vitali are. At least in America, which the brothers decided they didn’t need long ago. The Klitschkos are plenty rich anyway, even though they don’t feel the need to shove their wealth in your face constantly like Floyd does. But make no mistake, people in Europe do like boxing and really do love watching the Klitschkos kick American asses, which they do quite often.

As for upcoming fights, personally, I’d rather pay to see Wladimir fight undefeated Alexander Povetin any day. Or even pay to see undefeated Tyson Fury vs David Haye over in the UK.

Both heavyweight fights will be more entertaining than this hype job with Floyd and the Mexican Marshmallow was –I guarantee it– and both will likely end in knockouts.

Yes, knockouts. Remember those? But you have to have people who can punch to have knockouts:

Wladimir Klitschko: KO % 80.95

Vitali Klitschko KO % 87.23

David Haye KO % 85.71

Floyd Mayweather Jr. KO % 57.78

See a slight drop-off there? At least when you watch the heavyweights, you are always anticipating the big punch, the fight-ending shot that is like nothing else in sports.

With Floyd Mayweather, it’s more like watching somebody tapping on a keyboard for 12 rounds.

And I’m sure what he’s typing is something like: “HAHAHAHAHA. FOOLED YOU SUCKAS AGAIN!”

Won’t get fooled again, indeed. Who was Pete Townshend kidding?

Floyd will fool all the fools out there until the day he retires. A day that can’t come soon enough for me.